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We Pause For a Moment…

24 Sep

to bring you this public service announcement.

Just this past week, on a forum I frequent we were informed of the passing of a young mother with two small daughters. She was overcome by the disorder known as Postpartum Depression/Postpartum Psychosis and took her own life.

Too long has there been a stygma attached to this disorder, causing women to feel ashamed to seek help or talk about how they feel. After all, we just had beautiful healthy babies. What is there to be depressed about? Lots of women can’t have children at all, we should feel grateful. We do feel grateful. It’s not lack of gratitude that causes PPD. It is a disease like diabetes or cancer. You wouldn’t feel ashamed to seek help for those illnesses, so why should women feel ashamed to seek help for postpartum depression?

Please, if you are suffering from PPD/PPP, talk to your doctor. There is help to be had. Don’t suffer in silence. Don’t allow this disease to swallow you whole. If you suspect that someone you know is suffering from PPD/PPP, please reach out to them and let them know that you’re there to help. Encourage them to get the help they need.

1-800-273-TALK is a Free 24 Hour Hotline that directs you to your closest crisis center

Postpartum Support International

Thank you for your time. Next post I will return to my regularly scheduled blogging.


Prison Break!

19 Jul

(also known as: Lola’s Birth Story)

Maybe you’ve never seen this show…maybe you have.

Johnny and I love buying television show seasons on DVD and watching as much of the series as we can from beginning to end. So far we’ve done this with Desperate Housewives, Criminal Minds, Dark Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The Golden Girls. Desperate Housewives petered out at the end of season 2 because for some reason we can’t get season 3 in our area and we didn’t bother to buy it online. We’re all caught up on Criminal Minds, just waiting for them to release season 5 on DVD. Dark Angel is complete, but Buffy isn’t going so well. We could find every season except season 2 and who wants to skip a season?! We’re currently halfway through season 2 of The Golden Girls.

However, last week we were watching Prison Break, season 1.

Yes, there is eye candy.

If you’re not familiar with the show, allow me to give you a brief synopsis. Michael Scofield’s brother, Lincoln Burrows, is on death row for a crime he didn’t commit, so Michael – a structural engineer and general genius – gets the blueprints of the prison and plans an elaborate escape for his brother. In order to get his brother out…he has to get himself in. It’s really a fascinating show. I’d recommend it.

So you’re probably wonder what this has to do with anything, right? Well it has everything to do with everything.

On Tuesday, July 13th, Johnny and I were watching Prison Break. It’s been a great way to pass the evenings after the boys are sleeping and we can’t go out anywhere. After all, it was just a few more days until we’d have a newborn and then uninterrupted TV watching might be impossible. I was having a backache, but nothing serious, and ended up falling asleep before we finished the episodes on the disc. Johnny left the last episode on the disc and woke me up in order to head to bed, confident that we’d finish the season before Lola made her appearance.

Well, perhaps the show gave Lola some ideas, because she had other plans.

At 3am on Wednesday, July 14th¬†I woke with a severe backache that I just knew was different. I rolled onto my hands and knees to relieve the pressure on my back and said to Johnny, “This is different.” He was in the midst of saying, “Perhaps we should go to the hospital,” when I felt a pop and a gush. I scrambled off the bed just in time for my water to break all over the floor. Yeah…perhaps we should go to the hospital.

Johnny woke the boys and got them ready to go to stay with my mom while I went to the bathroom to change and get ready to go. It was then I discovered the meconium in the amniotic fluid and started to cry. It was meconium that had caused my first birth experience to be such a terrible one. We dropped the boys off and rushed to the hospital.

We were nearly to the hospital when my contractions started, right on top of each other. There was no easing into it. There was no relief. There was just pain. Constant, mind-blowing pain.

Everything after my arrival in the hospital was a blur. My favorite nurse, Jackie, was on duty thank GOD and she helped me through the pain until my OB arrived. He then asked me if I wanted to attempt to deliver her normally but with the meconium on my mind I sobbed that I just wanted her out and fast, so to the OR we went. There was no time for an epidural so I was put completely under.

Lola Sophia was born at 4:07am on July 14th, in a prison break that made Michael Scofield look like a total sissy. She weighed 6lbs, 14oz and was 20.5 inches long. At 4:08am her Daddy heard her cry for the first time and they brought her out to meet him.

Our Princess, Lola!

I woke in recovery and my first words out of my mouth were, “Is my baby okay?” They assured me that she was perfect. My next words were, “Is she really a girl?” Yes…right up until the day she was born, I doubted it!

They took me up to my room and I was allowed to hold my baby girl. I was in love right away. She is so tiny and perfect.

She looks a lot better than I do, of course.

We came home on Friday and this is the first chance I’ve had to post any updates or her birth story. She’s a really good baby but the c-section recovery has been a lot harder than I anticipated. I’ve been sore, stiff and very tired.

There’s not much else to tell, so I’ll just give the adoring public what they want: More Lola of course!

Big Brother James and Lola

Big Brother Hayden

FINALLY Big Brother Silas!

Daddy and his Princess

Our favorite nurse, Jackie

All ready to go home - in an outfit that belonged to her Mommy

Home at last

Yes...yes she is.

I’ll try to update again later this week. For now, I’m going to be loving on my little girl!

Waiting for Lola…

4 Jul

Sweet baby girl…we’ve made it to 38 weeks now.

Things haven’t quite turned out the way I thought they would. You haven’t flipped into a head-down position so you will be delivered via c-section. July 16th is the date of your eviction, unless you’ve forced our hand before that. I wouldn’t object to you being a bit anxious because I know Mommy sure is.

Cradle and Bedding lovingly given to you by Auntie Janet and family...Your "baby" toy from Momma and Granddad.

Your bed is all ready…soft, warm and inviting.

Johnny chose the carseat

Your carseat has arrived finally…and Daddy is itching to install it to bring you home.

A must!

There’s a rocking chair in Mommy and Daddy’s bedroom for us to snuggle in during late night feedings.

Sorry about the "off" angle of this photo

Your changing station is ready and we’ve stocked up on newborn diapers, sensitive wipes, and diaper cream.

Nothing fancy, but I do want Johnny to carry it sometimes. ūüėČ

Your diaper bag is all packed and ready to go.

Another terribly wonky photo...I need a new camera

Your lullaby CD is ready to play and soothe you to sleep. We just know you’re going to love Guns ‘n’ Roses.

The Hooligans

Your brothers are all not-so-patiently waiting…

He cannot WAIT to see her.

…especially your youngest brother.

We can’t wait to meet you.

37 Weeks

27 Jun

I love you baby girl

Baby Shower!

18 May

After my days spent on¬†I feel the need to preface this post with a bit of a disclaimer. Here in Newfoundland, the definition of a “baby shower” is usually very different from the baby showers my American friends seem to have. I have heard many of them declare that a baby shower for a 2nd, 3rd or 4th child is in very poor taste unless the children have a large age gap. I always wondered why until I heard how the baby showers go there. A baby shower here is¬†very unlikely to have 100+ guests and the gifts would not consist of things like cribs, $500 travel systems or swings – not even from the grandparents.

What we call a “baby shower”, my American friends would call a “baby sprinkle”. There are no big-ticket gifts, just small items. Not a huge guest list. No one looks at a registry. Therefore, no one thinks it’s unusual if you have a baby shower for every baby. It’s more of an excuse for a bunch of ladies to get together, eat snacks and celebrate a new baby being born.

My baby shower was on Saturday and there is now a veritable sea of pink in my house. Everyone was very excited at the prospect of a little girl to spoil…and spoil her they did.

I won’t go into any details, just give you a couple of pictures of the baby shower and gifts.

Table all set with goodies!

Cupcakes courtesy of Beckie

Cutest little outfit and shoes from my sister - pink of course!

Her bedtime toy and blankie from my mom

Beckie loves cows...this was from her

Family picture!

Mother’s Day and all that Jazz

13 May

Hi. It’s been awhile. Sorry to anyone who’s been watching this blog, wondering what happened to me. Life got crazy. We’ve had a lot going on here at our house, what with trying to switch the guest room to the downstairs in order to turn the current guest room into a nursery, planning for my sister and niece to visit this week (Yay!!!) and me being confined to bed with the mother of all viruses. So yeah…it’s been nuts!

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers and moms to be out there! My mother’s day could have been better (re: the virus that ate the world) but I was pleasantly surprised when Johnny and the boys presented me with something I’ve wanted for a long time; a silver bangle.


Inside is engraved “Faith-Hope-Love” and I absolutely love it. Of course having been insanely sick ever since, I haven’t had the chance to wear it anywhere, but this Saturday is my baby shower and I will definitely be wearing it to that! It looks absolutely stunning when combined with the earrings I won on the giveaway over at My Reflections.


They’re from Alex Keller’s¬†Etsy shop and I looooove them. I could spend oodles of money at Alex’s shop, if only I had it to spend. If my sweet hubs happens to be swinging by my blog to give me some traffic and possibly a comment *cough* then here’s a big ole hint for future birthday/Christmas presents: Alex’s shop is bookmarked in my favorites. JUST SAYIN’.

So now, about this virus.

Have you ever been hit with a virus so brutal that even your toenails hurt? Well we just may have had the same one. It started early one morning with a sore throat. I hate having a sore throat, but it’s nothing I can’t cope with. I whined and complained a bit, gargled some warm salty water (which is just as disgusting as it sounds, by the way, but it does take the stinging away for a short while) and hoped that it would be gone in the morning. It wasn’t. It was now accompanied by a stuffy and runny nose.

How is it even possible for your nose to run and yet be stuffy at the same time?! My nose would run and I’d have to make a mad dash for the bathroom for some tissue because I couldn’t even sniffle!

After a couple of days of this pure misery, I developed a hacking dry cough. You know the type. The type that is so totally counterproductive to helping you feel better that it would be more profitable to have someone inject you with¬†measles or something. All that cough did was make my throat sore. It didn’t ease my congestion one little bit, thank you very much!

I’d like to point out that while I was suffering through this, unmedicated thanks to a little person we like to call “Lola”, there were two bottles of Nyquil in my medicine cupboard just crooning my name. All I wanted to do was take twice the recommended dose, crawl into bed, slip into a Nyquil-induced coma and not emerge until this misery was over. No such luck. Not recommended for those who are pregnant or nursing. Screw you Nyquil!!! (No, I take it back, I really love you.)

I finally decided it was time to go to the doctor. Who took pity on me and wrote me a prescription for penicillin and Nasonex. Both of which I am currently still taking. I’m finally starting to feel human again, and just in time because my sister and niece will be here tomorrow!!!

They’re coming to make arrangements for Beckie’s wedding, and to help throw my baby shower. They are exceptionally excited about Miss Lola. Beckie is currently the youngest granddaughter on my side of the family, so it’s especially exciting for her. She’s also going to be Lola’s godmother, which she seems quite thrilled about as well. There are constant conversations about how we’re going to turn Lola into a shoe diva like the three of us.

ALL of these shoes are courtesy of "Poppy", her paternal grandfather

She’s off to a good start so far, don’t you think?

Despite all the sickness and frustration these past few weeks, one very awesome thing went down. Silas is finally potty trained! GO SILAS!!!

Mommy's BIG BOY!

We’re very proud of him. He completed the process in under a week and doesn’t even wear diapers at night anymore.

Also, my daffodils started to bloom.

Also pictured, Hayden.

We watched Wall-E a whole lot more than some of us wanted to…

What a life...

We caught up on our rest…or tried to.

Hey, at least he's on the right end of the bed...

...unlike some people we know...

Oh and some of us threw emo fits about the weather.

Not necessarily the person pictured here though...

So with all my plans for the next couple of weeks, my blogging may be sporadic at best, but now that I have my camera fixed I can at least promise you baby shower pictures and updates on Lola’s growing wardrobe.

Much love to all of you for your patience with a preggo-brained blogger with a bad flu virus. I adore you all.

Home Sweet Home

18 Apr

No man needs a vacation so much as the person who has just had one.
– Elbert Hubbard

Okay, so we didn’t exactly go for a vacation, but the quote still stands. This trip was anything but relaxing and I have decided I never want to drive again. The amount of driving I did from Wednesday to Friday was enough to last me a lifetime.

We left here at 5:15pm on Wednesday, after Johnny got home from work. We got about 2 minutes down the street and realized we’d left Silas’ sippy cup on the kitchen counter so we turned around and went back. We finally got on the road at about 5:30pm. We dropped Hayden off with his Momma and Granddad and the rest of the trip was fairly uneventful. Weather was fine, it was a bit annoying to have to drive in the dark for the last couple hours of the trip, but not a huge deal. We arrived in St. John’s at about 10:30pm. Checked into the hospital’s hostel for the night and went to settle into our room.

We decided to turn in early since Silas had to be at the surgical day care at 7:45am, but our little scamp had slept in the car since 7 pm and didn’t feel that an early bedtime was necessary. In my infinite mommy wisdom (complete sarcasm intended) I figured the best plan of action might be to take him into bed with me and have Johnny sleep in the other bed because he may be more likely to settle down if I was right there.

Sleeping with Silas is what I imagine it’s like to sleep with the Tasmanian Devil. He doesn’t stay still. He takes up more room than any child his size ever should. And he wants to sleep on you, not next to you. I woke up on the far edge of the bed with his head on my chest. Worst night’s sleep ever. Add to the pain that at some point in the night Johnny ended up rolling on his back and snored so loudly that it woke me…and you have one tired mama in the morning.

We got up at 6:30am and started getting ready to take Silas to surgery. He impressed every single doctor and nurse that he came in contact with. At about 10:00 he finally was taken down to surgery. The following hour was the longest of my life. I was tired, had a headache and completely stressed out. I just wante it to be over and for them to give me my baby back. I took a trip to the gift shop to distract myself and bought Silas a stuffed dog with fur that feels like real puppy fur. When they allowed us to sit with him in post-op we gave it to him. He loved the dog and named him Buddy.

That afternoon we were far more tired than Silas was.¬† We had figured he wouldn’t feel up to doing anything…but it turns out that Mommy and Daddy were the only ones that wanted to nap, so we took turns napping while the other occupied our strangely active little boy who was as proud as punch that his belly was “all fixed”.

That night we gave him his pain medicine at about 9pm and tucked him in. He was asleep in no time. We thought we’d get to have a good night’s sleep too…but I didn’t sleep well at all. I heard every whimper my little boy made and at 6am woke up to check on him. He was burning up.

Back to the emergency department we went. We spent over an hour there, with nurses fussing over him and telling him how gorgeous he was while he smiled and charmed them. Three different doctors came to see him, one purely because the nurses told him that he needed to see the “cute little boy”. Turns out that the fever wasn’t a big concern, could have been because of the broken rest, could be breeding a virus, could just be a reaction to the breathing tube they put in during his surgery. They gave us instructions to give him Tylenol and fluids and all was well.

We went back to our room and everyone napped for an hour before we started to get ready to check out and go shopping. Shopping, of course, is a relative term because we had no spare cash to actually buy anything, but we did want to look. We picked up a little something for the three boys and then picked up my niece Tiffany to have lunch. Rustlers was our stop for lunch and Silas ordered a hamburger with broccoli. I’m not joking. He didn’t eat either the hamburger or the broccoli though, because his painkillers wore off around lunchtime and he spent most of it trying not to cry while waiting for the next dose to kick in. I felt horrible.

From there we took Tiffany to her friend’s house to study and went to Toys R Us to look at everything possible and waste the last bit of time before our big 3D ultrasound. I tried to psych myself up for the liklihood of being told that we’re having another boy by looking at cute little boy things. Silas, as per usual, was a total angel. Even though he was awed by all the toys he didn’t nag for a single thing and didn’t throw a single tantrum.

Off to the 3D ultrasound! We got there plenty early and I filled out the forms stating that we wanted to know the gender, who our doctor was, how far along I was, etc. We got in a few minutes early and the first thing that the tech went for was the gender. It was then we heard those words.

“It’s a girl.”

The Difinitive Three Lines

My first thought was: “Did I hear her right?” Johnny says his was something like, “Well that’s different.” Silas just gave us all a look like “I told you it was a girl. Noobs.”

A little girl! She redid the gender check three times in order to reassure me that it was indeed a baby girl. All three times, the three defining lines of girl parts! We had a hard time getting good shots of her face because she kept burying her face in my uterine wall and making shadows form on her nose and cheeks, but we did get a couple of decent ones.

Our little Lola Sophia!

This is my favorite. She has her mouth open slightly and her nose, chin and lips all remind me of Silas.

Blue or Green eyes, do you think?

She opened her eyes for us, did a lot of yawning, and waved her arms around, kicking and playing. It was an amazing experience and definitely worth the money that we spent. The staff at UC Baby were amazing and it was something I would recommend to anyone.

So there you have it! A healthy little boy with a repaired belly, a healthy baby girl due in July, and we’re home safe and sound, despite the drive home being an hour longer than it needed to be due to fog. We enjoyed Friday night and Saturday with my folks and had a fabulous dinner courtesy of my mom who is delirious at the thought of her first granddaughter in 19 years!

Now to clean out the nursery and start the painting! Stay tuned!