Whine and Roses #2 – What Love is NOT

2 Feb

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life that nothing else can bring.
– Oscar Wilde

In my 29 years (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!) of life, I have learned many things about what love is. My parents taught me love, with cool hands soothing fevered brows and excited faces in the audience of yet another boring school play. My siblings taught me love with teasing and prodding and a fierce protectiveness that only siblings can muster. My friends taught me love with secrets kept and vows to stick together until the end. My boyfriends taught me love with stolen kisses and fervent promises – that most of them never kept. Then…oh then I met Johnny. He taught me love too, but over the course of my marriage (7 years and counting!) I have not only learned a great deal about what love is, but also about what love isn’t.

Love isn’t selfish. It doesn’t make decisions without the input of your spouse or make them feel like they don’t matter.

Love isn’t greedy. It doesn’t insist on having all the “me” time and leaving your spouse with all the responsibilities of the family with never a break.

Love isn’t easily frustrated. It rolls with the punches and allows the other person to make mistakes. After all, you and your spouse are human and mistakes will be made.

Love isn’t rigid. It will bend and grow as your marriage progresses. That sappy “honeymoon love” will change and develop into a much more mature love as time goes on.

Love isn’t showy. The public displays of affection tend to get toned way down after the kids come along, but the stolen moments while the children are asleep or while you’re cooking dinner and they’re otherwise occupied are twice as sweet.

These are just a few things that I’ve learned that love isn’t. As the years go by, I’m sure I’ll keep learning, because one thing that I’ve learned about love is that it changes every day.

Picture Update Tomorrow, I SWEAR

* Okay, just realized that the last picture we have of us together is desperately old. Will update it with a new one tomorrow!



One Response to “Whine and Roses #2 – What Love is NOT”

  1. Bella February 3, 2011 at 1:11 am #

    I love the take on what love is “not!” Love your opening paragraph! Priceless! Thanks for the kind comment on my lis from my guest post, by the way. I like your list too! 🙂

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