Archive | April, 2010

Home Sweet Home

18 Apr

No man needs a vacation so much as the person who has just had one.
– Elbert Hubbard

Okay, so we didn’t exactly go for a vacation, but the quote still stands. This trip was anything but relaxing and I have decided I never want to drive again. The amount of driving I did from Wednesday to Friday was enough to last me a lifetime.

We left here at 5:15pm on Wednesday, after Johnny got home from work. We got about 2 minutes down the street and realized we’d left Silas’ sippy cup on the kitchen counter so we turned around and went back. We finally got on the road at about 5:30pm. We dropped Hayden off with his Momma and Granddad and the rest of the trip was fairly uneventful. Weather was fine, it was a bit annoying to have to drive in the dark for the last couple hours of the trip, but not a huge deal. We arrived in St. John’s at about 10:30pm. Checked into the hospital’s hostel for the night and went to settle into our room.

We decided to turn in early since Silas had to be at the surgical day care at 7:45am, but our little scamp had slept in the car since 7 pm and didn’t feel that an early bedtime was necessary. In my infinite mommy wisdom (complete sarcasm intended) I figured the best plan of action might be to take him into bed with me and have Johnny sleep in the other bed because he may be more likely to settle down if I was right there.

Sleeping with Silas is what I imagine it’s like to sleep with the Tasmanian Devil. He doesn’t stay still. He takes up more room than any child his size ever should. And he wants to sleep on you, not next to you. I woke up on the far edge of the bed with his head on my chest. Worst night’s sleep ever. Add to the pain that at some point in the night Johnny ended up rolling on his back and snored so loudly that it woke me…and you have one tired mama in the morning.

We got up at 6:30am and started getting ready to take Silas to surgery. He impressed every single doctor and nurse that he came in contact with. At about 10:00 he finally was taken down to surgery. The following hour was the longest of my life. I was tired, had a headache and completely stressed out. I just wante it to be over and for them to give me my baby back. I took a trip to the gift shop to distract myself and bought Silas a stuffed dog with fur that feels like real puppy fur. When they allowed us to sit with him in post-op we gave it to him. He loved the dog and named him Buddy.

That afternoon we were far more tired than Silas was.  We had figured he wouldn’t feel up to doing anything…but it turns out that Mommy and Daddy were the only ones that wanted to nap, so we took turns napping while the other occupied our strangely active little boy who was as proud as punch that his belly was “all fixed”.

That night we gave him his pain medicine at about 9pm and tucked him in. He was asleep in no time. We thought we’d get to have a good night’s sleep too…but I didn’t sleep well at all. I heard every whimper my little boy made and at 6am woke up to check on him. He was burning up.

Back to the emergency department we went. We spent over an hour there, with nurses fussing over him and telling him how gorgeous he was while he smiled and charmed them. Three different doctors came to see him, one purely because the nurses told him that he needed to see the “cute little boy”. Turns out that the fever wasn’t a big concern, could have been because of the broken rest, could be breeding a virus, could just be a reaction to the breathing tube they put in during his surgery. They gave us instructions to give him Tylenol and fluids and all was well.

We went back to our room and everyone napped for an hour before we started to get ready to check out and go shopping. Shopping, of course, is a relative term because we had no spare cash to actually buy anything, but we did want to look. We picked up a little something for the three boys and then picked up my niece Tiffany to have lunch. Rustlers was our stop for lunch and Silas ordered a hamburger with broccoli. I’m not joking. He didn’t eat either the hamburger or the broccoli though, because his painkillers wore off around lunchtime and he spent most of it trying not to cry while waiting for the next dose to kick in. I felt horrible.

From there we took Tiffany to her friend’s house to study and went to Toys R Us to look at everything possible and waste the last bit of time before our big 3D ultrasound. I tried to psych myself up for the liklihood of being told that we’re having another boy by looking at cute little boy things. Silas, as per usual, was a total angel. Even though he was awed by all the toys he didn’t nag for a single thing and didn’t throw a single tantrum.

Off to the 3D ultrasound! We got there plenty early and I filled out the forms stating that we wanted to know the gender, who our doctor was, how far along I was, etc. We got in a few minutes early and the first thing that the tech went for was the gender. It was then we heard those words.

“It’s a girl.”

The Difinitive Three Lines

My first thought was: “Did I hear her right?” Johnny says his was something like, “Well that’s different.” Silas just gave us all a look like “I told you it was a girl. Noobs.”

A little girl! She redid the gender check three times in order to reassure me that it was indeed a baby girl. All three times, the three defining lines of girl parts! We had a hard time getting good shots of her face because she kept burying her face in my uterine wall and making shadows form on her nose and cheeks, but we did get a couple of decent ones.

Our little Lola Sophia!

This is my favorite. She has her mouth open slightly and her nose, chin and lips all remind me of Silas.

Blue or Green eyes, do you think?

She opened her eyes for us, did a lot of yawning, and waved her arms around, kicking and playing. It was an amazing experience and definitely worth the money that we spent. The staff at UC Baby were amazing and it was something I would recommend to anyone.

So there you have it! A healthy little boy with a repaired belly, a healthy baby girl due in July, and we’re home safe and sound, despite the drive home being an hour longer than it needed to be due to fog. We enjoyed Friday night and Saturday with my folks and had a fabulous dinner courtesy of my mom who is delirious at the thought of her first granddaughter in 19 years!

Now to clean out the nursery and start the painting! Stay tuned!


Silas’ Songs

13 Apr

Silas…my current youngest baby. Oh the emotions this boy wells up in my heart.

Allow me to start out by firmly stating that Silas was not a planned baby.  Quite the opposite, actually. Hayden wasn’t even a year and a half old, he had finally started to sleep through the night and in his own bed, and we were just starting to get the hang of dealing with his demanding personality. Another baby was the last thing on our minds. As a matter of fact we were using two forms of birth control to avoid expanding our family just then.

Someone else had other plans. Someone who knew better than we what we really need.

The positive pregnancy test couldn’t have been a bigger shock. When I took tests with my two previous boys, I had a gut feeling that the two lines would show up. This time I was taking a test because I’d already made an appointment with my doctor and wanted to be able to tell her that I’d already ruled out pregnancy. The two lines were like a slap in the face.

I went into the kitchen, practically threw the test at Johnny and collapsed in a heap on the kitchen floor, sobbing. I was so not ready for this. I didn’t know how I could handle another baby right at this point. What did my loving, wonderful, angelic husband do?

He cheered.

I kid you not, the man was excited. I wanted to murder him. My pregnancy with Hayden flashed before my eyes. The sickness. The depression. The countless psychiatrist appointments. The medication that barely let me function. Having to let my firstborn live with my mother because I couldn’t care for him due to the overwhelming depression. What if that all happened again?

It didn’t. I was amazingly healthy during the entire pregnancy and felt like a million bucks. I glowed. I was hoping that perhaps fate would be kind since this baby was completely unplanned and that it would be the little girl I hoped for. On the first of August we drove to St. John’s for an ultrasound (just like we will be doing tomorrow) to find out the sex. I eagerly watched the screen for a glimpse of what I was sure was my little princess.

Then I spotted something extra. Something that he then used to show us how accomplished he was at learning to pee in the womb. I was so disappointed I cried. I got over it quickly. I mean, a baby is a baby and there was nothing I could do to change the fact that I was having a little prince instead of a little princess, but that first day was rough. I hadn’t wanted to get pregnant, yet I was. I wanted a girl, yet it was a boy. Could I get anything I wanted out of this?

From the moment they put that wailing, gooey little newborn on my chest I knew that Silas was different. He wasn’t like his brothers. From the beginning he was a ray of sunshine. A light in dark places. A spot of joy in sadness. He was contented, slept well, and was overall an incredible infant. I sang this song to him every night, reminding him that he was “the promise I knew God would keep” and “the gift that made my world complete”.

Then he grew…and that sweet personality grew with him. He was well-behaved, cuddly, loving, and the most precious little angel to ever walk the Earth. I still can’t believe my good fortune whenever I look at him. Why did I ever want a girl? No girl could ever be to me what my Silas is. When my day is overwhelming…when I think I can’t take a single minute more, his sweet voice saying “I love you Mommy” just makes everything better.

My sweet baby boy. Don’t ever change. You’re perfect just the way you are.

So now that he’s older the song he loves for me to sing at night is this:

Hayden’s Song

12 Apr

Hayden was mine and Johnny’s first baby together, even though we both consider James our firstborn. My pregnancy with Hayden was super difficult. I came down with a serious case of prenatal depression and was on antidepressants for the majority of the pregnancy. As much as Hayden was a wanted baby, I hated being pregnant. Every minute was agony for me.

After he was born, the depression went away. It was mind-boggling how it seemed that as Hayden was pushed into the world, the depression was pushed out as well. I thought that the worst was behind me…then Hayden turned out to be the single most frustrating infant that I have ever come in contact with. If he wasn’t nursing, he was screaming. He refused to sleep anywhere but in our arms. He nursed constantly and I couldn’t even pump milk so that Johnny could take a turn feeding him so that I could nap – he refused to take a bottle. We tried. It was brutal.

He did grow out of the crying – as well as the insistence on sleeping in our bed. He’s still a difficult and strong-willed child, but we’ve learned some tricks for dealing with the dramatic tendencies and frustrating behaviors. He’s vastly improved and is one of the smartest children we have ever seen. He has a memory that is second to none and retains facts like a walking encyclopedia.

I have no doubt that this boy will go places in life. He’s got the brains, the determination and the personality. His song is “Upside Down” by Jack Johnson, because if anyone could turn the whole world upside down, it’s Hayden.

Their Songs

9 Apr

Do you and your significant other have a song that you call “your song”? You know, that one that no matter what, takes you back through everything you’ve been through and reminds you why you keep hanging on?

Yes, Johnny and I have a song. However, before I reveal “our song” I want to tell you that I associate songs with a lot more than just my husband. I have a song (or two) for each of my boys. Music has always been an important part of my life and I’ve always used it to relate to people and things. Ever wonder how boring a movie would be without music? I feel that way about life. There are times when I feel like life is a movie because I find myself hearing songs playing that fit the moment.

First James’ song.

James was born at a time in my life when I felt I couldn’t get any lower. I was living on the other side of the country from my family with his father, a man who I simply didn’t belong with. We wanted different things from life and from a relationship. When I found out I was pregnant, I felt like the world was falling out from under me. How could I raise a baby in a situation in which I myself was so unhappy? How could I do him justice?

When James was born, he helped me find my strength. He made me realize that I didn’t need to stay with his father. I didn’t need anyone to help take care of him. He was all I needed and together we’d make it through. Even though he is now living with his grandparents due to circumstances that were beyond my control, he’s still the one I look to when I need to remember that I can be strong and go on.

James’ song:

“If I Didn’t Have You” – Amanda Marshall

Pregnancy is Gross

7 Apr

Ah the miracle of bringing new life into the world. Round tummies, glowing skin, secret mommy smiles…right? Yes, but that’s just the side of pregnancy that everyone shows. The secret of pregnancy is this: pregnancy is gross. Puking, drooling, nosebleeds and worst of all boogers. It takes you back to your childhood when your nose was so clogged with snot that your nose whistled whenever you tried to breathe.

Today I bring you a poem, courtesy of Liz a friend from She sums up so beautifully this most nasty annoying aspect of pregnancy. Enjoy and show her some love.

An Ode to Crusty Boogers

I flush you out with saline
I blow both day and night
And sometimes when I see you
You give me such a fright!

You’re small & green & crusty
You’re abnormally thick
You’re way up in my sinuses
With an uncanny ability to stick

I go through so much Kleenex
You drive me up a wall
If you were in my son’s nose
He’d most likely eat you all

There are so many reasons
I can’t wait for baby to come
But of all the reasons I can think of
You’re the most annoying one

11 More Sleeps…

6 Apr

Before we find out if this is a boy or a girl!

That’s right, the big 3D gender reveal ultrasound is scheduled for Friday, April 16th at 4:00pm Newfoundland Time. We are totally stoked. I can’t wait to find out who this little person that I’ve already grown to love so much is! I can’t wait to call them by their name and buy them things specific to them. After next Friday, the fun really starts!

Everyone assumes I want a girl, and they’re mostly right. I do want a girl. I want to play tea party and Barbie and buy frilly dresses and pink things…but I won’t be disappointed if it’s a boy. This is the part that no one believes. I really won’t. I have three little boys now and wouldn’t trade them for anything. I think I do pretty well as a mom to boys…if I have another boy, who am I to complain?

So today I will leave you with the following list.

10 Things I Love About Being a Mom to Boys:

Yes, Bumblebee is my favorite, hence the baby's nickname...

Transformers – Seriously, I loved playing with them as a kid and I loved the show. Now I get to watch the movie over and over and over.

Silas has grown SO much since this picture!!!

Overalls – Is there anything cuter than denim overalls on a little boy?! I think NOT.

This was probably taken 5 minutes after a meltdown...

Little to no drama – They get into a squabble, they punch each other, they’re best friends again. No “I’m not speaking to you” drama that goes on for days.

Hayden and his Granddad...another older picture

They look cute no matter what they’re wearing – Even if what they’re wearing is dirty overalls, an old T-shirt and a snotty nose.

Again with the expressions...

Fauxhawks – Need I say more?!


Hours of fun…in a pile of dirt.

He wanted to go to Momma's so he dressed himself. Another older picture.

Their fashion sense. Or lack thereof. Seriously Hayden? Shorts and a hoodie? I guess I should be grateful that at least all the colors match.

Fun in the Snow

The special relationship that only brothers seem to share. Sure brothers and sisters can be close, or sisters, but there’s nothing quite like brothers.

"No, No,'re doing it ALL wrong...."

They love to “help” around the house. Especially when helping involves screwdrivers and hammers.

And the best part of being a mom to boys is…

My first baby...who isn't a baby anymore.

Me with the "Bubba"

Baking with Silas in the old apartment

Ah yes. The very best thing about being a Mommy to all boys?

Mommy is Queen.

The Promised Update

5 Apr

Today I am 25 weeks, 1 day pregnant. I cannot tell you how much weight I have gained because I haven’t been weighed in a while. I can however tell you that as of 16ish weeks, I was still down 8lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. I feel fairly certain that this is not going to be the case when I go back to the doctor on Wednesday.

On March 25, we had our first ultrasound. It was a pretty amazing experience, even though this is not our first time doing this. No matter how many babies I have, that first glimpse of my baby on the monitor chokes me up and the reality starts to sink in that there’s a baby in there! It’s not just because I’ve been eating too many Cadbury Creme Eggs (don’t judge me!) and those movements aren’t just bad gas! Though…I’m sure that the gas factors in there somewhere. Pregnant women are gassier than a Petro-Canada station. (For you non-Canadians reading this, in case you couldn’t guess Petro-Canada is a gas station…I’m not sure what they’re called in other parts of the world!)

Here’s what has to say about our Bumblebee this week:

Head to heels, your baby now measures about 13 1/2 inches. Her weight — a pound and a half — isn’t much more than an average rutabaga, but she’s beginning to exchange her long, lean look for some baby fat. As she does, her wrinkled skin will begin to smooth out and she’ll start to look more and more like a newborn. She’s also growing more hair — and if you could see it, you’d now be able to discern its color and texture.

Say it with me, won’t you? AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW…………

The boys are absolutely bound and determined that they’re having a sister. Hayden gives you the stinkeye if you try to tell him that it could just as easily be another brother, and Silas refuses to call the baby by anything but the girl’s name we have picked. If this is a boy, this could lead to some interesting brawls when they get older…

So here you go, and thank you for your patience while we recovered from what Johnny is absolutely convinced was the Norwalk virus…I promise on a stack of Bibles to be more faithful to my blogging now that the worst of it is over.

Without further adieu, I unveil the first picture of either Lola Sophia or Castiel Michael Dewayne (“Cas”), the newest soldier in our Army:

Womb with a View